Parenting Made Practical Review


parenting made practical
This review is a little different. Most of the products that I have received to review so far have been for Clarissa to use. This time, Parenting Made Practical sent parenting resources for me. They sent me a DVD called Navigating the Rapids of Parenting and a book titled Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think. Both are great resources.

 Navigating the Rapids of Parenting is a DVD by Joey and Carla Link with two 45 minute sessions. The first session covers birth to middle school. The second session continues with middle school and goes through college age. They were easy to watch together in the same sitting.Navigating the Rapids of Parenting DVD

I appreciated this DVD series because it talked about how to parent children from a developmental standpoint but also used scripture to explain the Biblical perspective. I also liked how it progressed across different ages so that I can see what I should be working on now and what the goal is by the time Clarissa is 18. It provided several discussion points for Tim and I so that we can really talk about what we want Clarissa to learn before she “graduates” from our home as a young adult. I also appreciated how they encouraged parents to anticipate your child’s behavior, rather than just react to it. It takes some planning, but it will make life better for your family.

The main goal of the first phase of development (birth to 5 years old) is discipline. I want Clarissa to obey me and recognize my authority because then she will be able to obey God and recognize His authority. They talked about first time obedience. I want to work on Clarissa stopping what she is doing and coming to us when we call her. Then, we can give her an instruction. We tend to just start talking and get frustrated when she doesn’t do what we ask her to. Sometimes the problem is that she is busy playing and doesn’t hear the instruction. But if she has to stop what she is doing to come to us, she will definitely hear the instruction and be more likely to follow it. After we master this, we can move on to the attitude that she follows the directions. The Links said that at this age, the attitude isn’t as important as the obedience.

The goal of the second phase of development (the elementary school years) is training. This is the time to teach Clarissa our values and character. We should focus on things like the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and stewardship. They talked about how you teach these things in elementary school while they are still young and impressionable. If I wait until Clarissa is a teenager to teach her about modesty, she will have other influences fighting for her attention. But at this age, she is more likely to listen to me. I also need to explain why we believe these things so that she can understand them as well.

Once a child reaches middle school he starts to form his own belief system and question the authority of his parents. Carla and Joey recommend having your child read Growing Up Christian during this time to make them think through their beliefs. They also stressed that when a child enters middle and high school, youth group does not become a substitute for parenting. We should still be very involved with our children.

The goal of the third phase of development (high school/college) is coaching. This is a time for asking Clarissa questions instead of just teaching. We can have great discussions about what she is learning in church or her own quiet time. It may also be beneficial to be serving somewhere as a family or doing a mission trip together instead of just sending her on the youth group mission trip. This is a time to find ways for Clarissa to serve in ways that she is naturally gifted in. Some kids will exit this stage after high school. Some will be in it longer.

The Links said that once you become friends with your child, you have lost your authority. Don’t move them to friendship level with you until they can support themselves financially.

Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think Book

I started Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think by Joey and Carla Link on the flight home from Hong Kong. I realized on the plane that I do lecture Clarissa a lot and she does tune me out. So I was eager to read this book. I actually really enjoyed it and finished it the evening after we returned.

One main point of the book was to ask kids questions about his thoughts and behavior instead of just giving a lecture because it gets to the heart of why a child is doing a particular behavior. Another point was that giving an actual consequence (like taking away a privilege) instead of a lecture was more effective at changing behavior. The book also stressed modeling so that a child would know exactly what was expected of him.

Some of my favorite quotes from the book:

  • “Pointing out what your kids did wrong makes them feel like failures, and they lose their confidence in their ability to do anything right” (19).
  • “Teaching your kids to do what is right is one thing. To hold them accountable is quite another… Giving your kids consequences is holding them accountable for their actions” (28-29).
  • “Trying to talk kids into the right thing doesn’t work because your words aren’t going to motivate them to change. Lectures aren’t consequences” (88).
  • “Ask God to remove our blinders where our kids’ weaknesses are concerned and help us see the areas we need to work on… Plan to proactively teach your children how to turn a weakness into a strength” (91).
  • “Reminding your kids to get their stuff done is the flip side of lecturing” (137).

Some of the specific ideas in the book are geared toward older kids (age 8 and above), so I won’t be able to use all of these ideas yet. But I plan to try a few. The book also referenced another of their books Why Can’t I Get My Kids to Behave? so I may need to read that one next as it is geared toward younger kids like Clarissa.

In previous reviews, everyone on the review crew has reviewed the same item. This time, are many products available for review from Parenting Made Practical so I would recommend checking out some of the other posts so that you can see all of the resources that they offer.

Parenting Made Practical {Reviews}Crew Disclaimer

Made to Crave


It seems like accountability groups have become popular over the past couple of years. Especially in the online world. I was in an out of a few for a while about diet and exercise. But I would eventually get to the point where I was only worried about numbers and not health. So I would stop for a while and then decide I needed a change and get back into it. I needed something different.

This fall, a friend started an online book club for Lysa Terkeurst’s book Made to Crave. I am really glad that I decided to join. I feel like I have a lot more freedom in the area of health and wellness, even though I haven’t really lost any weight. This book has really helped to shift the way that I think about food being fuel and the way I see my body.

In the book, Lysa talks about her struggles with food in a way that most women probably understand. If I crave something not good for me, I can use it as a prompt to pray. The idea is that you can see your food cravings as something that can bring you closer to the Lord instead of a curse.

There were a few Bible verses and phrases that she kept coming back to that really spoke to me:

  • “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial…” 1 Cor. 6:10
  • “This feels good now, but how will I feel about it in the morning?”
  • “The ultimate goal of this journey isn’t about making me a smaller size, but rather making me crave Jesus and His truth as the ultimate filler of my heart. I am a Jesus girl who can step on the scale and see the numbers as an indication of how much my body weighs and not as an indication of my worth.”

Reading this book in a small group was helpful in trying to keep to a certain schedule in the reading. But I think that you can learn a lot by doing the book on your own as well. There are personal reflections for each of the 19 chapters. Everyone will get something different out of the book because we each have different experiences.

Enjoy! a book review…


As someone who grew up during the “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” movement of the late 90’s, all kinds of purity messages were thrown at me. I entered college thinking “sex is bad.” Or at least, to avoid any kind of physical intimacy whatsoever. Then I got married and expected the programming that I had heard for the last 10-15 years to magically disappear and be excited about sex.

Don’t get me wrong. I have been married for 8 years now. Sex is wonderful. But it took a while to reprogram my brain. I think that while talking to Clarissa about sex the conversation will be more like, “Sex is wonderful. But God designed it to be with one partner for life, once you are married.” I don’t want her to need to reprogram herself once she is a married woman.

I really liked Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women. The book is written by Christian sex therapists and published by Focus on the Family. It was helpful to read, from a Christian perspective, what a lot of women think and feel during sex. Made me feel normal instead of weird. The chapters weren’t super long so it was nice to read one night and then spend a few days thinking about what I read. It took me less than a month to read the book.


Crash The Chatterbox


This summer, I attended the evening session of PWOC at Camp Humphreys. I enjoyed my time with this great group of ladies. We read Crash The Chatterbox by Steven Furtick.

I really enjoyed the book. It talks about replacing the negative and distracting thoughts  and voices in your head with the truth of what God says about you and your life. He says, “God has given us the ability to choose the dialogue we believe and respond to” (p. 4). There is a DVD that goes with the book, but you will learn plenty just by reading the book.

Some of my favorite thoughts from the book:

  • “Most of the decisions that send our lives in the wrong direction are the result of wrongly answering the question ‘Did God really say…?'” p. 50
  • All complaining does is give a second life to bad experiences.
  • Comparison is the death of contentment.
  • Another thing that really changed my thinking was the idea of thinking about your fear. Just ignoring a fear doesn’t usually make it go away. Instead, try thinking through it. What is the worst thing that will happen if that fear is true?
  • The reminder that I can do NOTHING to make God love me any more or any less than He already does. It doesn’t matter how I perform.
  • “God’s assessment of you isn’t limited by where you’ve been before or even where you are now. His words reflect the places He plans to take you and the purposes He intends to fulfill through you” (p.135).

Parenting the Wholehearted Child 


blogger that I follow recommended Parenting the Wholehearted Child. It sat on my bookshelf for about a year before I started it. It has taken several vacation travel days to finish, but I did enjoy it.  

The author, Jeannie Cunnion basically talks about a parenting shift. My goal is not to create an obedient child to make my life easier. Instead, my goal should be to parent Clarissa in a way that points her to Jesus. That the grace I give to her will help her to understand how much God loves her.

Some of my favorite thoughts and ideas from the book:

  • The “where did you experience God’s presence today?” game P.73
  • Life verses for each child p.89
  • “Jesus loved me so much that He was more interested in the work He wanted to do in me and with me than He was concerned with giving me exactly what I thought I wanted at the very moment I thought I wanted it. ” p. 92
  • Thankfulness is learned P. 161
  • I really liked how she asks her kids “are you being a peacemaker or are you trying to get your brother in trouble?” p. 171
  • Focus on what you want your child to start doing instead of what you want them to stop P. 222

She does a lot of correction by asking questions. What was your motivation for that behavior? What could you do instead? I think that also helps to get to know your child better. Sometimes when I ask Clarissa why she did something, her logic seems reasonable and I am able to guide her in making a better choice next time.

Lifegiving Home: March 


Three months into The Lifegiving Home and I really enjoy thinking about small changes that I can make to our home or schedule to make life easier or more enjoyable.

Last month, I committed to letting Clarissa interrupt my housework to enjoy what she is doing. I have not done this very well. But I am at least making an effort to play more and let the dishes wait a little while. There is a quote I really like that I need to hang on my wall as a reminder. Dr John Trainer said, “Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.”

March is written by the daughter and focuses on finding the beauty in everyday life.

One thing it mentions is introducing children to beauty through art and books. “With each new name children learn, with each description they hear of the world, language is teaching them what to pay attention to, how to perceive it, and what value to place upon it… As you fill your bookshelves and pick the images that fill your walls, consider the habits of thought and desire they will kindle in those who behold them.”

Clarissa loves to read. I can really see her imagination and creativity growing each day. She is one of the most imaginative three year olds that I have ever met.

Another focus of this chapter was a family ritual. We do eat a family dinner at the kitchen table every night. We have a pancake breakfast most weekends. We enjoy spending time together. I imagine that these rituals will change as Clarissa grows.

“The journey of ministry and Homemaking to which I have been called is a long one, and if I am to make it to the end with resilience, I need to plan for adequate rest along the way.” We need to be intentional about a family rest day. Clarissa and I need more time at home during the week as well. I like to be busy, but I find that our family does function better if we have some quiet time at home to rest.

The book talks about family walking rituals. Now that the weather is nice, we can get outside more. We have done long walks both days on the weekend the past two weeks. Clarissa usually sits in her stroller for most of it, until we get to our designated playground for the day. Tim and I enjoy walking and talking.

We especially like exploring new places. Clarissa likes our adventures. As she gets older, I imagine she will ditch the stroller and join more of the conversations. I would also like to attend a few festivals while we are here to learn more Korean culture.

A regular date night with Tim should also be sacred. Clarissa can have her own fun with a babysitter now that she is older.

A Life Giving Home Discussion and Link-up

Lifegiving Home: February 


Last month, I decided to try something new and blog through The Lifegiving Home each month for a year.

In January’s post, I shared that I wanted to start an afternoon reading hour and make sure to read a Bible story with Clarissa every night. We have been reading, but still have not established a consistent reading hour.  We have been better about reading Bible stories. Clarissa looks forward to Bible stories now. She told my parents this week, “I like Jesus. He heals people.”

Month two of The Lifegiving Home focused on how you treat people, or how to show love. Clarkson says, “All our life accomplishments, from God’s point of view, will be summed up by how much we loved God and how much we loved other people.”

She talks about how we often get caught up in the practical things like cleaning a house instead of focusing on the relationships in our home. I am definitely guilty of telling Clarissa I can’t play with her because I need to do the dishes or some other chore that can wait. Clarissa will only be small for a short time and I don’t want to miss out on playing and witnessing her creativity because I was so busy with housework.

I think my main goal this month is to make time for interruptions. I want to be able to really play and enjoy my three year old. The dishes can wait. Clarissa never wants me the entire day anyway.

Clarkson says, “the narrative we tell ourselves as adults often grows out of the messages we received as children.” I want the message that Clarissa hears to be that she is loved and valued. That her parents cared enough about her to stop what they were doing to spend quality time with her.

In this chapter, another focus is on traditions. Tim and I need to think about what birthday traditions we want to establish.

A Life Giving Home Discussion and Link-up