So I read a blog post this morning that really kicked my butt.
What am I doing with my time? Am I wasting it on facebook and Netflix?
So I wanted to really sit and think about the things I am doing with my time. What should I be doing?
I think it really comes down to calling. What is God really calling me to do? And right now? What are the things that I’ve been meaning to get around to and are they things that God really wants me to do or things that I just think I should be doing?
I know that first I am to be a child of God. Jesus should be my first priority. Then, Tim and Clarissa. Everything else has to be under that.
That kind of puts everything else into perspective. Yes, I would love for my house to be spotless. But if I have to keep Clarissa in her jumperoo for hours a day in order to make that happen, it’s not helping my relationship with my daughter. I would love to publish these ten books that are swimming around in my head, but not if it means that I don’t have any time with Tim and Clarissa. So they’ll have to wait…
I was so convicted this morning that I spend a lot of time on Facebook during the day. I know that there are times during the day that I am confined to a chair while I’m nursing, but I could be spending part of that time writing my books.
I was also thinking about how I’ve been lazy lately and watching netflix during naptime because I am tired or just want to veg on the couch. But then, the dishes and laundry aren’t done and I have to spend time doing that after Clarissa goes to bed when I could be spending time with Tim. Now that Clarissa is actually napping, I should be using my naptimes more wisely.
There are so many things that I want to do. I have thought about starting a mom’s group at my church because I currently go to a mom’s group that blesses my socks off, but as far as I can tell, that doesn’t exist at my church. I have ideas for several devotionals. I would love to go on our church’s mission trip to Vietnam.
Then you’ve got the shoulds…I should be eating better (but its more fun to experiment with dessert recipes for the blog). I should exercise more (well let’s be honest. I should exercise. period. because I don’t at all right now). I should be journaling or making a baby book for Clarissa. I should be making more of an effort to keep up with the extended family, even if it just means sending more pictures. I should be volunteering at some capacity at church. I should be organizing my school stuff so that I can hit the ground running in the fall. The house should be cleaner. I should wake up earlier so I can get things done.
But that is all just me. What does God want for me? right now. What has He called my family to? right now.
I think that I really need to take some time and sit and listen. And just ask God what He really wants for me right now. What should I be focusing on? How should I be spending my time with Tim and Clarissa? What should my free time look like?
I would encourage you to do the same. Sometimes we are involved in really good things. Last fall, I was planning to do Good News Club again. Clarissa was still really young and I knew that I was going to have to work part time at some point, but I figured ministry was something to keep doing right? But as the date for the planning meeting got closer, God really made me uneasy about it. As much as I love teaching and the kids at Fairfield, my first ministry needed to be to my family. Even though Good News Club is a great thing and I was good at it, it was something that I had to stop doing. At least for now. We have different seasons in life. God was teaching me when Clarissa was very young (like four weeks old), that I have to do what’s best for my family. Even if it means saying no to something good. Or even something I had already committed to.
What are you focusing on right now? What does God want you to do? Is there something you should stop doing? Or something you should start doing? God has called you to something. Right now. It might be loving your husband and kids really well. It might be something else. But I encourage you to ask Him what it is. And go for it. Even if it means disappointing other people in your life. I would rather be walking in God’s best for me than to just be doing good things.